This past weekend, we took a baseball trip to Nebraska to play Nebraska Wesleyan University in Lincoln. The real action was at the Howard Johnson hotel located on Cornhusker Highway. We knew it was gonna be a good time when as soon as we walked through the door some drunk, mildly attractive girl slurred out words and nearly leaned on us since she couldn't keep her balance. If we weren't on a baseball trip with coaches' supervision, I'm sure 2/3 of our team would have been in that bar on attack mode. There were about 40 kids running around playing various games in the lobby and hallways. We even stopped to jump in on a hackysack game.

The next day we decided to have a little pregame round of putt putt golf. They had 5 holes indoors that was free to people that stayed there. We played a couple rounds before it was time to leave for our games. Later that night we decided to hit up the jacuzzi and pool to relax. When we got there, the jacuzzi was occupied by 4 young ladies. Young meaning 12 to 14 years old. So 5 of us grown ass men sat in there with the jail bait. One smartass 13 year old asked Bose if he was a molester and he promptly (and jokingly) replies "oh yeah". She proceeded to recommend that Joey shave or wax his chest.

After they told us that they were celebrating this girl's (her name was Destiny) 12th birthday, they talked us into singing happy birthday for her since Joey told them we were from a church choir. One of the girls pointed out that Destiny was the proud owner of a tongue ring. She showed us and I think everyone's jaw dropped. What the hell is a 12 year old girl doing with a tongue ring. Apperently her whole family had them but her daddy took his out cause he didn't feel right. What is wrong with Nebraska? In about 6 years you'll be seeing little Destiny on stage in some Lincoln, NE strip club.

Later on after the little kiddies left, we sat with some guy with baby teeth. Tad was quick to point that out as the guy took two steps out of the jacuzzi. I don't think he heard us though. When we told him that we were a baseball team he told us this loser story about how he tried to try out for some minor league team. You had to be there but here goes: "Oh you guys are a baseball team... I like baseball. I practiced for like 3 years and watched the Saltdogs. I figured I could play...I'll try out..........It turns out they do tryouts in Arizona and you have to like be invited and all that. You need a video and all that bullshit. So I said fuck that." If you were there you'd be laughing your ass off. I hope the St. Louis hotel is as good as this one.