Ladies and gentlemen, if anyone ever asks you to come spend your night out in a small town, you should take them up on their offer. I was a little skeptical when Hades asked us to come party in Marengo. I'm usually up for new things so I decided to make a guest appearance. Marie, Pat, and I met up in Coralville and made our journey west to party central. We decided to take a detour to see what downtown Marengo had to offer before we went to Hades's house. We only saw one bar. It turns out there are two.

Lown eventually met up with us at the house and we had some drinks to get prepped for the night. Around 11:30 p.m. we all slammed our drinks and then hopped in Marie's car to go downtown. We stepped through the door and it was over from there. Some married woman named Kim grabbed my chest and said, "Damn. We're not used to seeing muscles like that around here." I responded by saying, "That's why I'm in town baby. Feel free to cop a feel all night." She definitely took advantage of the V.I.P. pass I gave her.

We sang some karaoke, drank a lot, and mixed it up with the locals. Kim and her friend grabbed my ass every time I went back to the restroom. After I got drunk, I told some of the ladies there that Pat and I were gonna give out lap dances later on and they needed to get on the sign up sheet. Once karaoke got over, the dancing began. Once again, Pat and I gave the business to every girl that came within arms reach. We gave and received a few lap dances. I talked the bartender into giving me a T-shirt. I'm now the proud owner of a black "Pit Stop" shirt with a girl with huge knockers on the back. I love Iowa.

Check out Marie's great photos

It's about time. It's been cold for some time and now it's starting to snow. I can't stand it when Iowa decides to drop the temperature but then forgets to reward me with some snow. It's part of the reason I stayed here. I had a couple of unintentional burnouts at two street lights. That was pretty sweet. That's the only way my Baby Lexus (Corolla) will do a burnout at a street light. One thing that sucks about these temperatures is getting up early enough to scrape off the snow and ice. I already hit snooze for 50 minutes as it is. I know that's not what you're supposed to do but you all can besa mi culo if you're gonna try to make me stop. I like speeding my way to work so I'm not late.

Speaking of being late, I was running late this week and I had to press a little harder on the gas pedal to make up for it. For the past couple of months I've been driving through this small town to avoid traffic. The only thing is that they have low speed limits. After months of driving through Robins, I finally got caught by the cops. I was speeding along, 4 minutes from work when I see a cop. I hit the breaks to slow down but it was too late. I could see him bustin a 3-point turn to catch up to me. He pulled me over and did his speech. I eventually lucked out and just got a warning. That was sweet. He said, "For going 40 in a 25, you could've gotten an $80 or $90 ticket. I don't know about you but I could think of better things to do with that money this time of year."

Do you think he was talking about Christmas shopping or strippers/hookers/cocaine ?