Now I know what it feels like to get pepper sprayed. Yesterday, I had the misfortune of experiencing this by accident. After work and some errands, I had about 20 to 30 minutes to do prep work for dinner, cook, eat, change clothes, and then leave in time to make it to rugby practice. Part of this prep work involved mincing a jalepeño. You can see where this is going already.

 Well, I made dinner and inhaled it quickly. On my way to change, I made a pit stop to relieve the pressure on the ol' bladder when I spotted some eye goop. Without thinking, I just wiped it away and went on about my business. A short time later, I feel this burning sensation in the inner corner of my right eye. That's right. I got some jalepeño in my eye. This shiz is no joke. I thought eye drops would do the trick so I rushed to the bathroom to put some in and there's no warning sign that says, "If your eye is burning, this will only make it worse". So now that the heat is intensified, I resort to the water in the eye. That helped a little but didn't do much. I still had my vision so I could drive to practice and hope that it wore off.

Since this was such a funny/painful story, I had to call someone to share. I called my mom and started the conversation off with, "Now I know what it feels like to be pepper sprayed." I think she almost had a heart attack. Instead of listening to the rest of the story, she immediately thought that I had been arrested for something. Thanks a lot mom. You know I'm the good child.

This was supposed to be the day of the massage. That didn't work out so well. The guy at our hostel only knew of one place and it was called The Chinese Massage Hospital. Right then, I wasn't too pleased with my options. We got directions and then headed out. After Julia, Katherine, and I walked down a couple of wrong hutongs, we saw their bus and walked through the gate. The place looked kinda like a mental health facility. The signs weren't exactly helpful either. Some guy pointed us in the right direction and the walkway was filled with construction equipment. We made our way to the room and found 8 empty massage tables and nobody in the room. I opened a door and saw some dude passed out on the massage table. One - I'm not waking this mofo up. Two - I don't want that mofo touching me. Three - This wasn't exactly the relaxing setting I was looking for. So we scratched the idea and figured we'd head to the market and see if we can find massages along our way.

Katherine went back and Julia and I set off for the subway. This was the most crowded we've ever seen. We were pretty much face to face. That made conversation rather weird. At the first transfer station, a lot of people got off so it made for a more comfortable ride after that. We ended up getting off a stop too early and had to walk more than needed but it worked out to our advantage. We got hungry and stopped at some place that was selling roasted Peking duck. I wanted to try it while I was here. They served them with these tortilla like things. I think they were the kind of things you make spring rolls with. So we were eating Chinese duck tacos. They were pretty good.

We finally got to market and more madness began. I just bought some gifts for my sisters. I didn't really see anything that I wanted. I did leave with some great quotes from all vendors in China. I'm sure I'm offending anyone who is Chinese but oh well... "Looka looka, t-shirt", "For you, best price", "You want Rolex... USB", "You so beautiful", "That's final price... I lose money". Don't be surprised if you're walking with me and I blurt out "looka looka, t-shirt". That's probably my favorite line from the market. The night ended with group dinner at another fantastic Chinese spot. Jean-Luc was the man when it came to picking restaurants. I guess he should know since he lived here for 2 years. They made me try this nasty liquor called "bai jiu". Bai is white and jiu is alcohol. That shit was nasty. But after a couple of shots of that, it set the tone for a night of boozing. We ended up in the alley at the kabob shack like usual. We ordered several pi jiu (beer). It was international. We had an Englishman, an Aussie, a Finnish girl, a French Canadian, Americans, and some girl from Missouri. I’m just kidding Jill. We stayed out too late and stumbled back to the hostel to pass out immediately.

I don't know why our Great Wall trip had to start off with a 7:30 a.m. departure. I'm on vacation mofos. We all jumped into this mini bus that was waiting down the alley and took off for The Great Wall. It was supposed to be a 2 hour drive but I swear it took longer. We stopped and picked up some guys from England on the way. That took some time. We later dropped them off to another car. Apparently, they were going to hike a different section of the wall. We got there and the incline began. The vendors were hounding like crazy. One lady gave me her card and told me, "Remember Lee in booth 133". She wrote my name down so she could get me on the way back. There's more on that to come.

There are so many damn steps there. I knew that going into it but it's one thing to hear about it and another to actually walk it. We had some small girl that was our tour guide and she said she does 2 to 3 tours a week. I don't know how she makes it through it each week. One of the girls that was with us has an asthma issue and we acted like we were being nice and waiting for her to catch up but we were really resting. Along the walk, I ran into a guy that's near where I'm from in California. Talk about a small world. We took tons of pictures. Instead of walking all the way down, we took a toboggan down. There's some rule where you have to stay 25 meters behind the person in front of you. It was fun to go fast and hit the curves like you're in a bobsled. It was fun until the log jam behind some paranoid chick riding her break all the way down. Talk about a buzz kill. She had about 10 people lined up behind her that wanted to stab her to death. That included her boyfriend.

Now comes the return trip through the vendors. Sure enough, Lee from booth 133 pulls out the card with my name on it and pulls me over. I didn't really want anything there and then I saw a housewarming gift for Marie and Kelly and I started my price bargain. She started off high as hell but I worked her down to a price that I wanted. Then I didn't them anymore. She kept pulling me by my triceps and eventually grabbed my shirt and yanked when I finally tried to walk off. After she lowered her price below my asking price, she pushed me in the back as I walked away. I pissed her off big time. After talking with my group, I realized that I was getting a good price so I walked back and tried to get Lee's low price but it took a little work. I finally got it and she was probably talking smack about me in Chinese cause some people were laughing but I didn't care. She just got manhandled by me in pricewars. Suck on that Lee from booth 133.

Our night was pretty tame after that. Half of the group went to bed soon after we returned and had a snack. A couple of us cabbed it to some other part of town to try out some Thai place. The food was really good. I might have to try some Thai places when I get back to the states. I finally bought some long sleeve shirt since I had been freezing the past couple of nights. I only packed shorts and short sleeve t-shirts since I expected warm weather. I'm pretty sure it was dirty when I bought it but it does the trick. I only needed it for tonight and tomorrow night. I have one more night here and then I come back on Sunday. I think tomorrow will consist of massages and more shopping. My body could use that. No happy endings, TJ.

Day 5 Pics

The Tian'anmen Square wasn't that exciting. We did manage to make it through without running into rabid protesters. It seems like everywhere you go, there is someone trying to sell you something. Every 10 steps we took, someone asked if I wanted some crappy Rolex imitation. The ones at the Pearl Market did a better job of hiding the fact that the second clock wasn't continuous. They also tried selling us watches with Mao Zedong waving his hand all the time. I think both of the Julias bought one.

After the girls ditched me in Tian'anmen Square, I met up with them at The Forbidden City. I was told that it was once off limits to Westerners. We showed them. I should've pissed in a corner while wearing an American flag T-shirt. The "lets take a picture with an American" was in overdrive today. Little did they know, we were rolling with 3 girls from Canada and another from Finland. The joke's on you. I got kinda tired of The Forbidden City pretty quick. The highlight was getting ice cream. The Imperial Gardens were the best part of the city. The last thing on the information board said that that's where the emperor picked his harems. What a pimp.

After a lot of walking and a bus ride back to the hostel, we still had 3 hours to kill before we met up for dinner. I needed some kind of towel to wipe off all the sweat that will gather on tomorrow's trip to The Great Wall so I headed to Wu Mart. It's the not same as Wal Mart. It's just like a mall. That place was huge. There were 5 floors full of people playing "stare at the foreigner". It wasn't as bad as I'm describing it. I did buy a shirt from some girl that was dead set on me understanding Chinese after I made it clear I didn't know what heck she was saying. That place was kinda funky. You pick out your items and then they give you a receipt. You take the receipt to some cashier on that floor and pay them. When you finish that, take the paid receipt back to the shop and then you'll get your item(s) all bagged up and you can be on your way.

We had a group dinner again. This time, some chick decided to sleep and be anti-social. We hit up some place where you cook your own food at your table. We had some sesame beef, some kind of pork, some veggie pancake stuff, some seafood pancake stuff, and marinated dog. That's right. I ate some fido. It’s okay… they breed dogs for cooking. They don’t steal neighborhood dogs. It was in the style of pulled pork. It was spicy and pretty good. We cabbed it to a night market after that to eat more weird stuff. I had scorpion, beetle, and a seahorse. The scorpion was the best tasting dish. I won't be heartbroken if I never have to visit or smell the night market again.

Day 4 Pics

Nap time was definitely in order after the subway ride home. Jean-Luc and Mark wanted to meet us for dinner so I couldn't get that quality college nap we were hoping for. Jean-Luc took us to this place where the menu was in Chinese and the only English in there was the exit sign. He ordered for us and the food just kept coming. We didn't even finish it all. We had dumplings, some sweet pork things, fried rice, steamed rice, sweet and sour chicken, a kung pao type chicken dish, mushroom something, and some vegetable thing that I don't know. For 10 people, the total was 201 yuan. Oh yeah, we had some beer, soda, and water too. So the total came to about $3 in US currency. I'm gonna feel ripped off when I come back to the states and have to pay American prices.

Day 3 Pics

Now that I'm settled, I get to have a full day of the Chinese culture. Julia thought it would be a good idea to hit up the Summer Palace first. It wasn't that far of a bus ride and it was one of the tourist places that I wanted to go to. I don't know the exact story but I think that some Dowager Empress misappropriated funds that she claimed were for the Navy and she built some huge palace for her to chill at in the summer since the heat was a big issue in Beijing at that time. You see a lot of signs about Anglo-French allied forces burning down the original buildings. That place was huge. My legs got a good workout. After all those stairs, I felt like I had buns of steel. I was sweating like a mad man. I think I'm gonna buy a little towel today to carry around.

Some couple came up to Julia and me and wanted a picture with us. I wonder what they were saying. "Let’s get a picture with those goofy Americans." "I think I saw that black guy in a movie." "This will make a good MySpace picture." I guess we'll never know. When we got down to Souzou Street, we got bombarded with all kinds of vendor requests/demands. It's funny how they call you beautiful when they want you to dress up in their stuff and pay for a picture. These two ladies draped me in some emperor’s outfit and would not let me walk away. I practically had to push them out of the way and then they started to take that outfit off of me. They were very aggressive.

After we left the Summer Palace, we decided to wind down at the hostel by playing some piggy game and various card games. That's when the guys from Julia's project showed up. Mark and Jean-Luc walked in with 5 or 6 other girls. They're all part of the archaeology work that Jean-Luc is doing for his PhD. Those guys were cool. The beer started flowing pretty heavily after they showed up. After the girls got settled, we met up with Mark and Jean-Luc in the alley for kabobs and beer. I found out that we were eating sheep. It tastes good to me. They call it mutton. I think we went through 27 bottles of beer (600 ml each). I'll let you do the math. And not everyone was drinking. That was a good night.

I also had the pleasure or walking into a public restroom while some guy was dropping a deuce in the squatter toilet. If you don't know what that is, just imagine a whole in the ground. That's pretty much it. They did have little foot spots so you don't slip while you're handling your business. I wonder how the guy felt with me pissing a couple of feet from his head. Once again, I guess we'll never know.

Day 2 Pics

The day started off pretty smooth. Marie and Kelly got me to the airport on time. Thanks girls. The flight from Chicago to San Francisco went by pretty quick. They played some movie that I couldn't even hear. Oh well. I did manage to catch up on some much needed sleep. When I got to San Francisco, I had to figure out something to do with my 3.5 hour layover. Oh yeah, I also needed a boarding pass for my next flight. Apparently United Airlines couldn't give me a boarding pass for my connecting Air China flight even though they were the ones working the damn thing. Since nobody was at the Air China counter, I decided to do some window shopping and get something to eat. I hit up a Mexican restaurant and watched some baseball and basketball.
 
After a while, I figured I'd better get down to the Air China counter so I could have enough time to get my ticket. I'm glad I did. I got up there and these ladies couldn't find my ticket. They kept asking me all sorts of questions. I must've handed them my passport about 7 times. They had to call in a manager to straighten things out and even she couldn't do it right away. This manager was on two cell phones and made trips in and out. I was like "WTF mate?" and finally, they called me up to get my boarding pass. It took 3 employees, 1 manager, and 45 minutes for them to print one boarding pass.
 
My flight was seriously the quickest 12 hours I've sat through. They served us two meals and zero A/C. That plane was too damn hot. For that long of a flight, one would think that they would show more than 2 movies. I guess I was wrong. I did manage to finish a book that my stepmom let me borrow around the Christmas of 2006. Sorry Angela. It was actually a really good book. I just never read any of it unless I was flying or in an airport. I bet she'll be surprised when she gets it in the mail next week. The flight was good with the exception of someone farting every 3 minutes when we first got on the plane. I don’t know who was doing it but as soon as the smell went away, here came another gust of stank. I'm glad it wasn't the entire way. He or she did start up again when we got close to landing. Maybe it was their way of getting rid of the nerves.
 
After I got out of the HUGE airport, Julia and I cabbed it back to the hostel. They cab ride was pretty cheap. Everything here seems to be cheap. We had dinner in some alley near our place and it was about $6 in US currency. We ate 15 kabobs and had 2 big beers. I don't know what meat we were eating but they seasoned those mofos like a champ. I'm pretty sure we'll be eating there a lot. The guys that work with Julia are coming today and they eat/drink there every night when they come to Beijing. So far so good.

Day 1 pics

Soooo two weeks ago, I e-mailed the coach to the Cedar Rapids Headhunters and he responded last Monday. I told him that I had never played rugby before but I was a running back in football and I wanted to see if I could pick up the sport of rugby. I came to practice on that Tuesday and we practiced in the rain and snow. My hands were frozen stiff. My upper body was super cold too. I should've prefaced this by stating that I had on shorts, a turtle neck, and a thin windbreaker. Thursday's practice was a little warmer (40 degrees) and the tornado sirens didn't go off until we left practice. Anyway, the coach said I could play on Saturday and I'll figure out the rules and stuff as I watch/play.

Here comes Saturday and Iowa's version of Spring hasn't really settled in. They give me these mini shorts to wear and a snug fitting jersey and I was ready to rock. I was supposed to play a lot in the 2nd game and maybe get in for the first one since the first one was the prime time and the 2nd one was like a B-squad game. They put me in the first game and it was on. I scored on a long run of about 60 or 70 meters. I caught a tipped pass and took off. I made one guy look like an idiot as he tried to tackle me. I had another long run but had to pitch it off before I got tackled. We scored off that too. I turned some heads in that game and was awarded a shot of Wild Turkey at the post game celebration.

The 2nd game was equally as fun until I decided to fall down wrong when I got tackled on a long run. I sprained my left ankle and had to leave the game early. I was freakin pissed. I wanted to play more. I wanted to score again too. This game is addicting. Now I'm limping around everywhere. I even had to miss out on my post-church ultimate frisbee. What a shame. I'll be back at em soon. Hopefully I heal in time for our playoff game in 2 weeks. Cross your fingers.

Saturday night was a little too long. This year, the Iowa Conference is allowing us to have 8 practices in the Spring for football. Well, it started with meetings at 8:30 a.m. and practice ended at noon. It also was the start of random "I know you" moments. The special olympics participants were doing time trials on the track while we were practicing. At one point, I turn around and the lady I sat next to from Denver to Cedar Rapids was waving to get my attention. Our flight was back in December and she still rememebered me. She was a cool lady. I also ran into her at Target today which is another story.

After practice, I had to scramble to get some last minute items for the baseball games at Cornell. Marie and Kelly were in town and we decided to do some grillin during the doubleheader. We played catch up and talked crap to the Buena Vista University outfielders. Hades didn't join me. He decided to play good cop as I was doing my job as the bad cop. We almost missed out on the brats and hot dogs since Kacie decided to lock her keys in the car along with the food. It's a good thing her cell phone wasn't in there as well.

After the game, I met up with Workman at Penguins Comedy Club to watch Jon Reep and some other dude. Jon Reep is the guy from the Hemi commercials and he won The Last Comic Standing. Both of the guys were hilarious. That place was packed. I didn't get charged for half of my booze cause the waiter was slow as shit and their point of sale was causing problems. Some douchebag kept talking and trying to be part of the show. I thought the guys in front of him were gonna beat his ass. Eventually, Jon Reep told him to shut up and the crowd applauded. The douchebag had no idea why people were mad at him. It wasn't as bad as the first guy telling some drunk chick to "shut the fuck up". That was the best. That chick was hammered and kept going, "woooo'ooooooo!!!&qu ot; Way to shut her up other guy.

The show got over around midnight and we thought that Dublin City was a good idea. I should preface this by saying that it is is a common thing for me to run into someone (multiple people) that I know in a random fashion. My ex-girlfriend's sister's ex-boyfriend came up and to say "what up". Some guy from the Access Iowa board did the same. The best was when this girl came up and started talking to me. She was cute so I talked. She was like, "Wow. I haven't seen you in so long." I had no clue who she was. I remember her face but that's about it. I said, "I'm sorry but how do I know you." She walked off and said, "asshole" under her breath. I was shocked and then I started laughing. How can you be offended by someone not knowing who you are? Oh well. She'll get over it.

I think the weekend really drained all the energy out of us cause everyone was a little out of it on Sunday. Once again, Megan and Wiz made us breakfast. Actually, I think it was Megan and Tia that did the work. Wiz was still sleeping. The plan was to hit up Baker Street Pub & Grill for their bloody mary happy hour. I don't drink that mess but they did have free pool all day so it was good. We hogged up all three tables for a good amount of time. We stayed so long, we saw new employees roll through. Eventually, other people wanted to play pool so we were nice and let them.

This one guy, Amir, came in and wrecked shop. Craig and I came close a couple of times but he still went undefeated. Wiz was on the other table killin people too. Tia bit Amir for fun and it still didn't stop him. I don't think Craig liked that too much. I wonder if she remembers that. I'm pretty sure our waittress, Natalie, probably could've made a car payment with all the money she made off of us.

Later that night, we went to some bowling alley where you bring your own drinks. I don't know how it worked out but our two lanes were stuck in between two different high school outings. I swear these kids were gonna break the wood on the lanes. Everyone was kinda turning into zombies at this point. Everyone was tired so we decided to head back home. It was an early night but I think we all agreed it was time to go home and pass out.

The good thing about our Kroger trip from the night before was the breakfast food we got. Megan and D-Wiz cooked up some food for all of us to enjoy. We did the usual routine of recouting the previous night's happening. We looked through everyone's camera for all the hilarious pictures from Baker Street Pub & Grill. After everyone got their shiz together, we headed out to the mall. The girls were the only ones to buy stuff. We did manage to get some good burritos from Freebird. It's similar to Pancheros and Chipotle but it was still nice to hit up a new place. I almost killed myself with a sample of the habanero sauce.

We got back to he house to get our sexy gear on before we hit up Downtown Fort Worth. After passing up on a couple of prospects, we decided to hit up The Pour House. It was kind of a dingy place but we had a good time. Our pool games were interrupted by these two meth heads. This guy had like 5 or 6 teeth and wouldn't shut up. I can't even remember all the crap that he was saying. I was kinda lookin forward to seeing him play but he took his money off the table and left before it was his turn. Since most of us wanted to dance, we hit up Aqua Lounge. It was this ritzy type place. we could sit in special couches but we had to pay $150 for a bottle of vodka. Fuck that noise.

We took another room that was free and set up shop in there. We were about 11 deep in there and others were initially scared to come in. We got a good laugh out of it. For some reason, I told our waittress that it was my birthday. Everyone decided to keep the lie going all night. The DJ kept giving me shout outs all night. It was awesome. After he got done with his 30 minutes of house music, we took over the dance floor. It was Wiz, Big D, and myself out there initially. More people joined after they saw us. Some bachelorette party found their way to me. I was down with it of course. Some of my friends said that some chick that was dancing with me took off her wedding ring and put it on another finger. I didn't see that. The group of 8 chicks were asking me for dance lessons. It was freakin hilarious. I'm not the best dancer in the world but I guess people with no skills will take lessons from anywhere.

Public Service Announcement: Don't ever have Big D be your wing man when the friend he's supposed to occupy isn't that brisk. Yes, this is me being bitter.

All in all, it was a good night. That was the best birthday party I ever had. Too bad it wasn't even my birthday.

Note to self... be one of the first to take a shower when you have 9 people in one house. I guess a cold shower wasn't that bad of a way to start the day. Stacy decided to go to work with Megan while Big D and Craig went with D-Wiz's work. They're both teachers and apparently it's cool if random people show up. Tia and I were still knocked out by the time they got back. Later on, Wiz picked Andrea and Cedric up from the airport. We let them get a tour and unwind for 2 seconds before we headed out to Happy Hour at Baker Street Pub & Grill. Who has Happy Hour for 6 or 7 hours? I wasn't complaining though.

We drank... and drank... took pictures... played pool... and drank some more. We had some bar food which was top notch. I could see why Megan and Wiz liked that place. I swear it was like singles night. Everyone at that place was cool. It was a pleasant surprise. Some of Megan's friend joined us and one of them decided to show off her knockers (thank God for digital cameras). There isn't much to tell besides the numerous "you should've been there" stories. The night cap at the Wiltz house was brief and we all passed out earlier than expected.

Oh, I almost forgot... a special middle finger goes out to Kroger grocery store for not serving us alcohol at 11:56 p.m. Texas has some B.S. law that you can't buy booze after midnight on a weeknight. We got to the cashier 4 minutes early and she needed to see all of our ID cards. Since Big D, Craig, and I all have out of state licenses, she said she couldn't serve us. WTF? So I took off sprinting to 7-11 to buy some beer before midnight but by the time we got finished arguing with the Kroger lady and my lazy sprint, I got to 7-11 just in time to be denied. Son of a bee sting. So we had to drink the hard stuff until we decided to head to bed.

Man, it sucks getting up early. Since I procrastinated, I had a bunch of crap to get done at 4:30 a.m. Oh well. My flights went pretty smooth. I had a few hours in St. Louis to catch up on Prison Break. I bought season 2 months ago and I just now started them. After Megan picked me and Stacy up from the airport, we went back to the Wiltz house. They're place is freakin sweet. It's one of those "American Dream" type places.

After D-Wiz got back from the other aiport with Tia and Craig, we started with the usual catching up and all that good shiz. I decided to take off with Wiz and go to high school practice. Those kids weren't that great. I had a good time. I forgot how much shit high school kids talked. It was funny. This 6'7" guy that just got drafted by the Astros came and threw to some of the players so he could get work in before he had to report to Florida. He was alright. I could've hit him.

By the time Wiz and I got back to his house, Big D was here and they were all in the backyard enjoying the TX weather and drinks. It was just like college. Jokes coming from left and right. People getting harassed in a "friendly" manner. We even put Paul on speakerphone just to talk shit. It was just like to good old days. Today, Andrea and Cedric get in in. We'll see what Day 2 has to offer.

It's too bad the weekend is just about over. My hockey team finally got back on the winning side of things. Well, part of my hockey team. We had some players missing and we borrowed some guys so we had people to sub in. I even had some fans in the stands. Lauren, Andi, and Krystal showed up and halfway paid attention. I think those girls were more interested in talking with each other than actually watching the game. I scored the last goal of the game and they all lied and said they saw. Great job, "friends"! After that, we hit up Buffalo Wild Wings to fuel up for another night at Spy Bar. As always, it was filled with familiar faces. Another solid night out. Note to self, don't have Krystal as a pool partner after she's had a few drinks. Way to let the team down. HAHAHA j/k.

Saturday was pretty dull until the night came around. Somehow, I got mixed up in girls' night at the casino. Lauren and Andi asked if I wanted to go to the casino and I agreed. Next thing I know, Lindsey was in the car and we were on our way to pick up some girl named Diana. Man, it was fun. I'm sure I walked in looking like:

A: someone who paid to have girls around him
B: their sugar daddy
C: some lucky mofo that people kept staring at

Anyway, some of them ditched me and Lindsey so we made our way to the penny slots. I don't get down like that so I just watched her play for a little bit. I thought the idea of penny slots was to make the money last longer. She put $5 in and I swear it was gone in about 5 minutes. I had to find a spot on the blackjack table so we found the rest of the girls and then I left them to hit up the high rollers table at the $5 blackjack table. I sat down and didn't move until it was time to go. The girls lost all their money and I still wanted to stay. I finally got off the table with $75 more dollars than I started with. Now I'm stuck wondering how much I could've went home with if they were still gambling. Oh well. They made up for it with hysterical conversation at Perkins. We were the loudest in there and I think Lindsey and I were competing for loudest laugh. Those were good times. Thanks ladies.

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone that donated to Big Brothers Big Sisters for the Bowling For Kids' Sake event that I participated in. I had a good time. I got paid for skipping out on work and hitting up the bowling alley. My team finished in 3rd place for the most money raised. I was tied for 3rd place for most money raised by an individual. For the team prize, we got $10 gift certificates to Target. For the individual prize, I got a $25 gift certificate to Best Buy and a 10 minute massage from the therapist that shows up once a week. I think I still have another $10 gift card coming from Big Brothers Big Sisters too.

Now on to hockey... our win streak is over. After a 2 week layoff, the 7-game win streak has come to an end. We played like crap and the other team didn't. I think the final score was 5-3 or 6-3. I did manage to score a goal there so I got some joy out of it. We'll try and start another streak this Sunday. We play at 8:30 p.m. for those of you that are in area.

My company, Intermec, is one of the companies that's joining Big Brothers Big Sisters in a fundraising event at the Cedar Rapids Bowling Center. It's called Bowling for Kids' Sake and I'm the team captain for "Me, Him, & Them". I wanted to know if any of you would like to be one of my sponsors for the event. Any amount helps and it all goes to BBBS. There is a secure link for those that want to donate online. Otherwise, a check made out to Big Brothers Big Sisters would work fine. 

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPle dge.asp?ievent=257070&lis =1&kntae257070=90DE29 089C1B4A15A1F43A749A03169 9&supId=197902754

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

If you haven't heard of "The Second City", you're missing out. They are an improv comedy group that's based out of Chicago. There are other locations but I live in the Midwest so deal with it. Anyway, they came to Iowa City this past weekend and I jumped on the opportunity. I got RJ and Marvin to come along and once Monica found out, she joined in too. We started the night out with some red wine at RJ's place. There's more on that later. After a glass or two, we headed to Bob's Your Uncle for some outstanding pizza. I'm still mad that I left my to go box on the table.

We got to Englert Theater and the laughs came instantly. We timed it up perfectly. We sat down and had just enough time to browse through the program and then the lights dimmed and the show began. We had two or three intermissions and the show lasted 3 hours. It went by soooo fast. I almost cried laughing. Some of their sketches were rehearsed but the improvisation was hilarious. Some funny quotes from the show...

- "He's just the right amount of black" (about being in love with Obama)
- "Just because he buys you dinner, doesn't mean he gets to fingerblast you"
- "Hi, I'm the date rape puppet"
- "Medulla Oblongata... GET IN THE FUCKING CORNER!"

I'm sure it was funnier in person. On the way back, RJ got pulled over when we were 3 minutes from his house. The Sheriff was kind of a dick. RJ didn't have his registration in the car, he had the wrong insurance card. Out of nowhere, the sheriff said, "I smell alcohol, how much have you had to drink?" Keep in mind, this is 5 hours after we had the wine. RJ was lost. He was quick to point out that it was way earlier in the night. While this was going on, the other sheriff kept going around on the passenger side with his damn flashlight. I know they're thinking of safety first but get off my sack. And you couldn't smell any alcohol. The sheriff claimed that he could smell more alcohol than RJ was admitting. He then asked the rest of us how much we had. WTF, mate? He then took all of our drivers licenses and went to his car. He later returned and knocked the ticket down to speeding 1-5 mph over when he was 11 over. What a great way to finish the night.

Through pure luck, Andy managed to become the winner of a suite at the RoughRiders game on Friday night. I guess the person who won decided to cancel so the radio station called Andy and he jumped on it. We started the night off with free food at Buffalo Wild Wings. The party that cancelled decided to show up. The dude's mom came over and was touching the bag of Budweiser goodies that Andy won. Yes lady... the name on the bag isn't your son. Step off. I guess they contacted the radio station and talked to the manager at B.W.W. and got something worked out.

When it was time to go, our group and the other group jumped in the Hummer limo and made our way to the CR Ice Arena. They had all these glasses and no booze in there. Cheap bastards. So we talked it up on the way there and the other group was stone silent. It was kinda funny. I sat next to the dude's mom and made some small talk. She didn't have a ring on so I figured I'd give her a little attention. She looked like she needed to get some.

The game was cool. The RoughRiders played like crap and ended up losing. I ran into a couple of guys that I played hockey with this summer. I chilled in their suite for a little while and then headed back during the 2nd intermission. There's something about a fridge full of beer that really keeps you coming back. I forgot to mention the egg rolls. Those things were money. Me and this one guy were eating them like they were our last meal of the year. This one chick from the other group was in there doing journalism homework. Talk about antisocial. They should've been kicked out for being lame. All in all, it was a good time.

Since graduating from college, my only planned trips back home to CA have been around Christmas time. This year was no different. I was home from Dec 20th til Dec 29th. It went by so fast. It started off a little bumpy. The TSA employees took forever to get our luggage on the plane so our departure was delayed 45 minutes. That turned out to be just long enough for me to miss my connecting flight in Denver. So I had to catch the next flight which was almost a 3 hour wait. I filled time by watching some episodes from the first season of The Boondocks. And then came the proposition.

Some guy kept looking at me and he looked familiar. I thought he was a football referee from our conference so I asked him and he took it as his chance to strike up a conversation. It wasn't the referee by the way. He moved closer by one seat and we began chatting away. Eventually, I asked if he had kids and he responded with, "No. I'm gay." I'm not a homophobe so we kept talking. I think he was fishing to see if I had any interest. He threw some flattering comments my way. One unforgettable quote was, "... a cute guy like you with a smile like that... how do you stay single?" This guy was a very wealthy, older guy. After I watched his luggage while he used the restroom, some kid took his seat. So when he returned, he grabbed his stuff and came over and asked if I'd like him to fly me out to New York for a trip some time. I politely declined.

The rest of my trip was clubbing with family and friends, Monday Night Football game to watch the Chargers and Broncos, Holiday Bowl to watch Texas and ASU, hanging out with friends & family, and of course eating all the tasty food that adds some junk to that trunk. I miss the real Mexican food. I got a new video camera. Hopefully someone does something stupid so I can catch it and post it on YouTube.

As I sat in front of the TV, enjoying my morning cereal, something on the news kinda rubbed me wrong. It was a story about how spanking your kids should be against the law and how bad it is and so on. This really got on my nerves because I believe spanking your kids is a great part of raising your kid the right way. No, I am not a parent and I haven't raised any kids. But me and my sister were punished this way and we turned out fine.

Now don't get me wrong... there is a difference between spanking your kids and beating your kids. I'm not talking about the parents that punch their kids as a form of punishment. That's wrong and against the law. What's the big deal if a parent decides to use their hand or a belt to punish their own children for a wrong that they've committed? Would you rather let them get buy and have the justice system punish them when they're older?

The story on the news was talking about how the state of Massachusetts was close to making it illegal to spank your kids. They went on about how this is such a cruel form of corporal punishment. If you want to take measures to stop violence in the home, I'm all for that. But trying to make every family adhere to some ridiculous piece of legislation (if it passes) like this is insane.

Since football ended and the free time came, Dre and I decided to go visit Big D in Chicago. We went out Friday night and it was game time as soon as we arrived. We took one step into his place and we already had drinks in hand and getting ready to go out for the night. We hit up some new place and it was okay. It's too bad the Bamboo Club had to close down.

Saturday was the day though. Justin's wife surprised him with a little birthday get together. It was a group of his Chicago friends and some of us Cornell guys playing Whirlyball. For those that don't know, check out whirlyball.com. Natalie (Justin's wife) decided to make it Cornell vs Chicago. We dominated of course. Cornell won 6 or 7 games and Chicago won 1. I look forward to their attempt at a rematch. After some food and napping, we went out in downtown Chicago. We met up with Marie and Kelly. We were soon joined by Nate, Pat, Lauren, Becca P, and one of Pat's friends. Becca got us the hookup at a bar she used to work at. We got to skip the long ass line and sneak in through the back door. Leave all jokes at the door. We danced and drank and because of Pat, some us had an unwanted collar popping for short moments. Thank God for the 4 am closing time.

Thanksgiving was awesome. I can get used to 3 day work weeks. Once again, I went to the Hadenfeldt house for some good eats. We ate and managed to watch a portion of 3 games while napping for several hours. I think I caught up on a months worth of sleep in my 4 day weekend. I thank chef Mary. I know she appreciated my commercial-like gift of Miller Lite. I know I know. I'm good.

With no plans for Friday night and a pocket full of money, I figured I'd test my luck at the casino. I called up Flockhart and it was on. I made the trip with $110 in my wallet and I only planned on spending $100 at the blackjack table. In other words, I was willing to lose $100 while playing blackjack but I obviously wanted to beat the house and come home with some extra dinero. The first $50 seemed to go by fast. This was not the night to be playing blackjack. Those dealers had the hot hand like it was a freakin conspiracy. So I decided to take a break while I still had $50.

After my extended halftime, I returned to the table and had some luck. They switched dealers and this new chick dealt me two blackjacks in a row. Then out of nowhere, this other dealer comes to replace her. When the hell does a dealer leave the table after two hands. More importantly, why are they hating on me getting my money back? After a while, Riverside Casino was the proud owner of all of the $100.

As I left the blackjack table, an enticing slot machine was calling my name. "Ricky.... Ricky.... RICKY!" So I walked over to the quarter slot machine and put my last $10 in there. I'm glad I did. An hour and change later, I flipped that $10 into $120. At one point, I had over $140. So after all that losing and winning, I still came home a winner. I came home plus $10. Go me!

This is a little late but I have to post it anyway. A couple of weekends ago, I went on vacation with some friends to the Minneapolis area. The original idea was for Pat, Marie, Kelly, and I to go to Marie's grandpa's cabin and just live it up from Thursday to Sunday. It turns out that the cabin had been promised to her uncle so we had to improvise. We got some good deals on hotels and we decided to go to Minneapolis and Eden Prairie. Thursday, we met up at the Radisson and complained about the the drive there. They carpooled from Chicago for 6 hours and I drove from Cedar Rapids for 4 hours.

We wasted no time. Pat and I showered and we hit the streets. The drinking started at 4:30 p.m. We originally planned on going to dinner but we said screw it and we just decided to get drinks and appetizers from various bars. The so called happy hours weren't that happy. We still had a blast. We started near the U of M campus, went to Dinky Town, and ended up in Downtown Minneapolis. We went to Sally's Saloon & Eatery, The Big Ten, Downtime Bar & Grill, The Library, Drink, and finished at Bootleggers. We're professionals so we stayed out until the bars closed.

Friday started off with some disappointment. Rockvam Boat Rentals said they were all booked. We were really counting on going there. So once again we said screw that and drove there anyway. It turns out they had one for us and we hit Lake Minnetonka at full force. Note to self... wear sun block next time. I got burned and I'm just now starting to peel. It was fun though. Our drinks consisted of Seagrams Gin and vitamin water. We got a boost of energy while we got drunk. After that, we went to Marie's parents' house for some ribs and cheesy potatoes. I didn't want to leave. After they drug me from the dinner table, we checked into the Hyatt Place in Eden Prairie where we stayed for free thanks to Kelly. It came with a 42" Plasma TV. Our Friday night was all Downtown Minneapolis. We met up with PJ and Nick at Lone Tree Annex. After some creative dancing by PJ and one of Nick's friends, we went to Bootleggers to finish off the night.

Since Pat and I haven't been to the Mall of America, we did the tourist thing on Saturday and went shopping there. We didn't ride the rides. We bought a couple of things and then headed back to the 'telly. Across the parking lot was this amazing Mexican restaurant called Don Pablos. Our waitress had some nice buns if you know what I mean. The food was great and set us up perfectly for an afternoon nap. We decided to go to Uptown Minneapolis that night and it didn't disappoint. We went to Williams Pub & Peanut Bar and got hooked up on drinks. Marie and Kelly left Pat and I but it didn't slow us down. We met up with some other Cornell alums at Stellas. They have a nice set up on the roof. After they kicked us out we went and crashed at the hotel. That was a much needed vacation. The pictures will come later.

No. I wasn't really in a coma. There's a lot that has happened since my last post. You're not lucky enough to hear about all of it. Since March, I've had a birthday, had a lot of fun, went to my first Arena Football game, saw Wiz and Megan get married, danced like a pro (it felt like it when alcohol was in me), helped Flockhart move, and a whole bunch of other shiz.

I'm looking forward to this upcoming week. It's filled with two hockey games and two softball games. Normally, I just get to play hockey on Sunday. This week, I'll get to show off on hump day as well. The sports aren't the highlight of the week though. On Friday, my company is having a company picnic for the engineering department. It starts at noon so we don't have to work a full day. I'm down with that my friends. I get paid to eat food, drink beer, and play golf. I'm not the greatest golfer but I enjoy surprising myself out there. I'm hoping that some people get drunk and makes fools of themselves. Cross your fingers. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Man, I couldn't wait to get out of work on Friday. I was getting antsy after about 3 o'clock. Derek's father-in-law stopped by my cube to show me some of the training stuff we have on our company site. His weekend started at 3 p.m., when he left my cube. Lucky guy! After work, I met up with some friends and had dinner in Iowa City. Two years ago, our pizza was named "The Jonn Stockton". This time, our pizza was named "The Greg Brunner". Either way, Bob's Your Uncle hit the spot. We soon left and hit up Riverside Casino. Pat and I stuck to the blackjack table while Marie raised hell on the penny slots. At one point, Pat was up $100 and I was up $80. The short story is, we spent all of our money wallets. I managed keep a crisp 20 dollar bill.

Saturday, I slept in before I made my journey to downtown Cedar Rapids. I got all the way down there and realized that I forgot about St. Patrick's Day. I saw a bunch of people leaving the parade, wearing green clothing. I had on a blue polo. Talk about sticking out. I went to work for a quality 50 minutes and then met up Hoeg and his friends at Paddy's. That place was packed. I ran into just about everybody... former neighbors, a friend from Cornell, guys I coached, guys I played against, etc.

The drinks started at 4 in the afternoon. As soon as I got there, one of Hoeg's roommates handed me a beer. Now that is hospitality. Eventually, I ended up getting a green necklace so I got "in the spirit" a couple hours later. We got some taxis and went downtown to Dublin City. The taxi driver let me talk on the radio. I had no idea what was going on. He was telling me, "Say 94. Say 94". I didn't get to say any other cool lingo. I just got to say "94" and "10-4". Tyler wanted to go to Grafton to meet up with some chick he used to work with. We started walking and then I got the bright idea to jump on the back of a moving bus. Tyler and I made it but Hoeg just walked. Tyler almost lost his legs. We went by cops and they didn't even stop us. Eventually the bus driver saw us and stopped. Luckily it was right by Grafton. It was a great time.